UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: Life Detective proposes that this Valentine’s Day we do not want to find a new variant to love, but instead should kiss that oh-so-clingy COVID virus goodbye after two years of an abusive, shitty relationship.

Psychology researchers have found that we humans are more stressed by a bad thing that might happen as opposed to the same bad thing we know will happen.  So, it is not too surprising that many of us are worried about the virus visitor that just won’t go away.  Two years in, we’ve experienced lockdowns, masks, vaccines, social distancing and many of us have achieved standing as experienced amateur epidemiologists to figure what we can/should do and with whom we should do it (and in the spirit of Valentine’s, that includes doing it”!)

Can we really say goodbye? After all, our COVID boyfriend has come into our lives with great virility, gone viral, and left several times, only to return. Can we avoid COVID at work, school or the restaurant? Will we find COVID’s future advances irresistible, feel powerless and yield to its unwanted advances? Do we think COVID will change and be less toxic, perhaps even gentle and loving?

Let’s take a quick look at what we might expect with COVID’s future, hoping to reach a state of reduced stress with a shared vision of knowing what will happen.

Life after the COVID breakup

COVID is a crafty boyfriend in much the same way 9-11 terrorist planners were referred to as “masterminds”. Just like the girlfriends who would say things like “your boyfriend seems so nice,” virus experts have struggled to figure out this master manipulator.  The best experts on virology and epidemiology are humble in acknowledging they cannot be sure where COVID goes next. At this stage, the leading scenario goes something like this:

  • Mutations will continue to occur, but most likely will be less impactful as human immunity builds varying levels of resistance from vaccination or prior infection and as therapeutics (e.g., monoclonal antibodies or Pfizer’s anti-COVID pill) become widely available. This is the process of COVID becoming endemic like the flu: it is still around causing problems but just not so severe. In Valentine’s terms, the boyfriend is still around, but at least there won’t be an unwanted love child so long as you are using condoms or the pill.
  • In terms of societal response, there still may be some broad mitigation efforts required or recommended depending on the next version of COVID. Gale Sinatra, a professor of psychology at the University of Southern California said: “our definition of “normal” may need to change, too: Living with Covid won’t be as simple as pretending it doesn’t exist anymore”. Additionally, “be prepared for things like masks being required on flights or in large venues during the fall and winter, going forward”. In other words, you may have dumped your COVID boyfriend, but you may need to try to avoid him at work and, despite your best efforts, may inadvertently bump into him in the elevator.

When will “endemic” happen and what should we do now?

Even after dumping COVID, one will need to be aware of its whereabouts. One expert says to watch Florida (pronounced “Flori-DUH”) this summer.  COVID’s favorite summer vacation playground may once again be a leading indicator for what the rest of the country should anticipate for the fall.

Whether bad-old COVID chooses to stalk us seeking one more rebound (wink when you say that) spike or not, going forward everyone will still have to make decisions based on their risk tolerance. If you are in the “just wing it” crowd, wait two weeks to finish off Omicron, and then continue on. If you lean more towards safety and security, whether for yourself or people near and dear to you who are vulnerable, stop at the drugstore first to keep up on vaccinations, be ready with a quality mask (i.e., the face condom), and stay up to speed on therapeutics like Paxlovid (i.e., the “morning after” pill) so you can consult with your doctor should you fall ill.

Ultimately, the time is now to start feeling better. We know how crappy life has been with our COVID boyfriend. Get ready to move on and experience life the way it was intended. It may never be 2019 again, but we know what to do to maximize our own health. This Valentine’s Day, play your favorite defiant break-up song from Pink or Gloria Gaynor . . . and kiss COVID goodbye.