UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: In the midst of the Easter and Passover season 2022, an examination of spirits impacting the material world seems appropriate. Life Detective has decided to explore one such spirit, the guardian angel, and relate a personal experience where I just may have met mine.
The dictionary definition of a guardian angel reads: “A guardian angel is a spirit who is believed to protect and guide a particular person.” The guardian angel has a lengthy history as the concept can be found in the Hebrew Bible and the Old Testament. The belief in guardian angels continues into the modern times, with 55 percent of Americans saying they have been helped by a guardian angel. The belief in guardian angels is reinforced in pop culture, as in the television series “Touched by an Angel” and the annual Christmas classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. In contemporary religion, while Catholic doctrine stops short of stating that everyone has one, guardian angels are formally acknowledged in many ways, including in a specific prayer, a feast day (October 2), and the following from the Catholic catechism:
“From infancy to death human life is surrounded by their (guardian angels’) watchful care and intercession. ‘Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life.’ Already here on earth the Christian life shares by faith in the blessed company of angels and men united in God.”
Face-to-Face with my Guardian Angel?
Brooke Katz worked as an administrative assistant to me and my team at an Atlanta law office. On March 31, 2005, her life was taken in a car accident on a rainy Atlanta morning. The circumstances of her death, and the days leading up to it, are a story in and of themselves, quirky to the point of being almost by the design of a higher power. Being the consummate skeptic, I hesitate to affirmatively say that there was some hand of fate in her tragic passing and, in the age of misinformation, cannot state with absolute certainty that she has served as my guardian angel. However, if guardian angels exist, she has indeed served as mine and I will refer to her as such herein.
There were events which occurred in the weeks leading up to my first face-to-face encounter with my Guardian Angel. In the background, there was a national debate going on over the case of Terri Schiavo, a woman who had been in a coma for years. Her husband was seeking to remove her feeding tubes, likely ending her life. Terri’s parents were attempting to stop the husband via legal proceedings. The battle was a national story and Brooke and I had chatted about it several times. We seemed to be of like mind, that ultimately, living in a coma wasn’t living at all. We both questioned whether there was an afterlife . . . and both of us seemed to be “skeptics in search of absolutes”; ultimately, we just weren’t sure. Also, just a few weeks before her death, Brooke had told me that she was pregnant and that in a few months she would be leaving her job.
Taken too Early into the “Arms of the Angels”
Between the hours of 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. on March 31, 2005 (just a few days after Easter), there were heavy rain showers and thunderstorms in Atlanta. I stayed at home a little longer, knowing the traffic would be awful. I arrived at work about 11:20 and, as usual, became immediately immersed in work activities. I walked down the hallway and realized Brooke was not at her desk. I checked with a few co-workers to see if Brooke had called them about being late. We were about to call her house to see if everything was okay, when I then received a call asking to speak to Brooke’s supervisor. The person gave me his name and indicated he was from the ‘Atlanta something or other.’ I asked him to repeat it and he said he was Officer Carl Wolcott from the Atlanta Traffic Fatality Unit. I asked him again what the name of the unit, as my mind began to race, thinking the un-thinkable. He asked if we had contact information for Brooke’s husband. I started to fumble and looking for something that might have her home phone number on it, my hands shaking and my voice beginning to quiver. I said, “I don’t suppose you can tell me what happened?” And he said, “No sir, but I think you can imagine.” Brooke was killed in a car crash on the way to work. I may have been the first person to realize this among people that she knew.
All of us at work were all devastated (and I still am) by the news. The next few days were like being in a daze. I just couldn’t reconcile what had happened. How? Why?
First Contact
In the days following this tragic event, I revisited my beliefs about life, God, life after death and the reasons we all live and die. Does God exist at all? It is difficult to prove or disprove and hear incomplete, unsatisfying answers like “you have to believe” or “that’s why they call it faith.” If God did exist, how come no such evidence was ever captured on film? Is there life after death? It is so incredibly sad when someone dies so young and without warning. Though I knew it would not happen, I wished that I could turn back the clock or un-do the events that led to Brooke’s death. If that wasn’t possible, I wished I could have at least had the chance to say good-bye. I knew that the mental preparation and ‘closure’ visits I made the summer before my father passed away lessened the blow when the hour of his death came.
I fell asleep on April 2 with these thoughts resonating in my mind. I entered a dream that included everyone at work. I don’t remember all of the details of what was going on, except the part at the end of the dream. There seemed to be some preparation going on for me to get to see Brooke and to see her alone. It was like the end of a going-away party. The setting seemed to be a typical, modern apartment. I was in a kitchen area, and someone told me it was time to see Brooke, to say goodbye. I went into a living room area. Another good friend from work, was sitting on a chair. His chair faced a longer sofa and was separated from the sofa by an end table. He was holding a video recorder. I told him to “turn the damn thing off,” feeling as though the presence of a taping device would impact the authenticity of how we behaved. Just beyond the end of the sofa, I saw Brooke. She looked radiant (think transfiguration in bible terms.) She wore white, not any heavenly vestment, just a white sweater that seemed to glow, not incredibly bright but enough to know she was different from others in the dream. We hugged each other. I started to cry, and she just said “Yes.” I looked at her, her right eye seemed to sparkle from blue to brown as if a sun’s ray had come through it but also seemingly telling he that this was a vision, not a regular part of the dream. I asked, “What do you mean?” and she said “Yes, there is such a thing as a soul, and we will see each other again.” I felt tears coming from my eyes in the dream. I woke up abruptly to find that tears were coming down my face in real-life. I popped up and sat up, trembling slightly, not in fear but almost in relief and a feeling of being overcome with emotion. My Wife woke up as well. I gathered myself and told her what happened at the end of the dream. She started crying, even harder than me, and held me. I knew she was feeling my emotions but could not tell why it was so intense for her. She then told, “I have been praying to Brooke because you were so upset and asked that she let you know everything was OK.”
Second Contact
My life went on, but I was not the same. I found it more difficult to be in the office. I began to re-think my work. I doubled efforts around seeking spirituality. However, “raw spirituality” conflicted with my practical, critical thinking mind. Nevertheless, “first contact” had me increasing the odds that a higher power existed and that we humans possessed a soul that survives earthly life. Accordingly, I sought more answers about life’s purpose and the nature of the afterlife. I began going to mass on a more consistent basis. Sadly, Catholic Church attendance provided very little in the way of answers. I spent my time at mass in “independent study,” following the readings and viewing interpretations on my cell phone while the service followed its usual, unsatisfying ritual of repetitive prayers and homilies about the next church social.
My frustration with a lack of answers went on until early April 2006, almost exactly one year after my original dream, I had another dream where most of my family and close friends were seated at a table. Much to my surprise, there I was, standing up and telling them how they needed to believe in God. It seemed improbable as I had not found the “smoking gun” proof of God I was hoping for, but there it was. Just as I finished my sentence, Brooke appeared, seemingly nodding her head in acknowledgement and approval, and said “You don’t need me anymore.”
The Story Continues?
There are still stories to tell about Brooke’s passing into another realm. One about third contact and one about the strange set of circumstances which led to the end of Brooke’s earthly life on March 31, 2005, sometime between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. just before she was resurrected in my dreams as my presumed Guardian Angel. But it is Easter Sunday, so it would seem to be a good time to stop and reflect on this story of life, death, and what comes next. After all, Brooke passed shortly after she and I and the entire nation explored questions of life and death through the drama of the Terri Schiavo legal battle.
Oh, and by the way, Terri’s feeding tube had been removed on March 18, 2005. This resulted in Terri being led into the “Arms of the Angels” less than two weeks later . . . yep, March 31, 2005, between the hours of 9 a.m. and 10 a.m.
