Under the microscope: On March 27, the birthday of my departed sister, Sandra, I am posting the core contents of the eulogy I gave at her funeral in 2011. She passed following a car accident on a country road in Niagara County, New York. As a backgrounder (you can also access her obituary here), I note that our family lived in Niagara Falls, New York. My Italian grandparents lived next door. My parents were John and Elinor. I was the youngest of six children. I had four sisters and an older brother. Sandra was the fourth child and took on her married name of Marasco. She is missed very much.

January 31, 2011

Eulogy of Sandra Ann (Galeziowski) Marasco

First, on behalf of the Marasco and Galeziowski families, I would like to thank you for all your support and for being here with us this morning to mourn the loss of Sandy, to celebrate her life, and to seek to find some meaning and purpose to the loss of this wonderful wife, sister, aunt, daughter, cousin, and friend of ours.

As we have all come to know, in her life, Sandy’s mastered a few essential qualities we all admired and can learn from:

  • Being the best at whatever she did;
  • Caring for others; and
  • A “sneaky” sense of humor (as my mother would say, “it is always the quiet ones”) and a brilliant, gleaming smile.

As we trace her wonderful and full life, these qualities showed themselves time and time again.  Sandy was born March 27, 1961, the fourth child of John (Moe) and Elinor. She lived a few years with our family in my grandparent’s home in a lower middle class area in Niagara Falls.  As our family grew to be four girls and two boys, our family needed more space and our parents made the decision to pack up and make a long, difficult trek to a bigger house – so we moved next door (being an Italian family, I thought all kids lived next door to their grandparents!)  There, Sandra spent most of her childhood and early adulthood.

She attended the neighborhood elementary school (79th Street School) for grades K-6.   As with all the kids in our family, there was never a dull moment, though my mother might have wished for one.  Sandy was a good, quiet kid, but like all kids found a way to get herself into difficulty.  For example, there was the time when she somehow accomplished the unimaginable feat of having a shirt button stuck up her nose.  My stressed mother was prepared to take her to the ER to have the dastardly button removed as if she had suffered a gunshot wound.  Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed, and my older brother calmly placed a finger against one nostril and told her to blow hard . . . and disaster was averted as that nasty booger-button was dislodged from its nasal perch!!

Sandy quickly recovered from this traumatic event and went on to LaSalle Junior and LaSalle Senior High Schools in Niagara Falls.  During these years, the qualities we all came to admire began to show themselves:

  • When it came to being the best she could, Sandra worked diligently at school and was Valedictorian of the LaSalle High School Class of 1979. She also served as Editor of the school yearbook.
  • When it came to caring for others, I recall that Sandy used to watch me and protect me and the youngest of my sisters. Whenever I would get in trouble, she would help make me feel better (and not so scared of my father!)  She helped me with schoolwork and used to draw this cartoon character she created – a muscular Super-Sugar Bear-looking character she named “Chico”.  As a young teen, Sandra helped care for my aging and ill grandmother.  Sandra would help my mother by bringing meals next door to Grandma and just sitting and being with her.  As my grandmother became weaker, Sandra would help with changing her and giving sponge baths.
  • And all the while, Sandra was developing that “sneaky” sense of humor and that big, gleaming smile we all loved.
Sun through clouds

Sun on Niagara Falls in Winter

Sandy’s Adult Years

After high school, Sandra went on to study at the University of Buffalo.  In those days, we were lucky to have access to a ride – not every 18-year-old had their own car.  Thus, she would often ride to school with one of our sisters.  I recall the one day when our sisters was driving to school with Sandy in our old 1973 Dodge Crestwood station wagon (with wood paneling on the outside!), which of course broke down in the middle of Buffalo Avenue just minutes from our house.  My sister went to call my father for help (there was no iPhone, just the pay phone in those days).  When they returned to the broken-down car, amidst all this turmoil, they found Sandra patiently waiting . . . eating her lunch . . . at 9 a.m.

Through young adulthood, Sandra also continued to exhibit her usual qualities:

  • In her education, like many young adults, Sandra experienced some uncertainty in trying to determine what she wanted to do for a career. She investigated many schools and occupations. She attended the University of Buffalo for one year and then went to Niagara County Community College. She eventually transferred to nearby Daemen College.  Having attended three schools in the matter of just a few years, I am reminded of a story when we were driving to my sister’s house in Hamburg and passed by a sign for another small local school, Hilbert College.  Being a bit frustrated with her changing schools several times, my father smartly said, “Look Sandra, there’s a school you haven’t tried yet”.  But as we all know, Sandra was determined to be the best she could – she stuck with her schooling at Daemen College and earned a bachelor’s degree in Medical Records.  She went on to several successful professional positions, including working at nearby Niagara Falls Memorial Hospital.
  • Continuing to care for others, Sandy took care of several nieces and nephews. She had a great way of entertaining kids, dressing up, wearing silly hats, doing goofy voices and more.  She babysat for my oldest sister’s two children.  Her fun-loving demeanor earned her several nicknames:  she was known as “Aunt Simba” to my children, “Aunt Piggy” (not sure of the origins of that one) to another sister’s children, and “Aunt Corn” to yet another sister’s children, apparently earning the nickname after a trip to the Eden, NY Corn Festival.
  • And all throughout these early adult years, Sandy would show that sneaky sense of humor and flash that brilliant smile.

And in more recent years, Sandra had the good fortune of meeting the love of her life in the year 2000, Robert Marasco.  As I have to come to learn over the past week, although the population of Niagara Falls has dropped from 100,000 to less than 50,000 over the past 50 years, approximately 1 million people have lived on 19th Street at one time or another . . . and every last one of them knows Robert and the Marasco family.  It was there that Sandy seemed to find her true place in this world.

  • In striving to be the best she could, Sandra returned to the University of Buffalo and secured her bachelor’s degree in nursing. Though it was difficult, working part-time and being a bit older than most of the students, she did it. All of us were immensely proud of her accomplishment, especially Robert who knew just what kind of a struggle it was for her.  She found a job she liked (something many of us wish we could do), working for the Smoking Cessation Program at the Roswell Cancer Center.  I have heard from many co-workers who miss her and even others who she worked with about how well she did her job, for example helping St. Mary’s Hospital secure a grant to make them a smoke-free campus.  Despite being busy, Sandy always strived to keep up her health and appearance.  She worked out and always presented herself well.
  • From 2000 to 2011, Sandy once again was focused on caring for others. She helped with my father as his health declined.  More recently, she has helped with Robert’s Dad and my mother, bringing food, and helping with medicines.  She even helped out neighbors, taking their blood pressure and more . . . and of course, taking care of her husband Robert as he battled illness.  Sandy took Robert for his many visits to for treatments, as despite everything she had going on, only missed one visit over a span of 18 months.
  • And through it all, we remember Sandy’s sneaky sense of humor and brilliant smile.

Our lives changed forever a week ago Friday (January 21, 2011) when Sandy’s car accident occurred.

Angel in the Sky

Sandy made us laugh, think, and cry

Now that’s a full life!

The things one sees when a tragedy like Sandy’s accident occurs can be both gut-wrenching and inspirational.

  • As all the worst cases in the Buffalo area end up at the Erie County Medical Center’s (ECMC) trauma unit, being at the ICU can allow one to link up news reports of accidents to real people. A 20-something severely injured in a sledding accident, a 21-year-old killed in a car accident, a 29-year-old pedestrian hit by a car – all in the matter of a day.
  • The people who work in police, ambulances, and health care facilities can be quite amazing. A Niagara County Sheriff’s deputy and EMT stopped when they were passing Sandy’s accident and were already helping my Sister (and began administering CPR) even before police and ambulance officials received word from the 911 dispatcher.  The nurses in the ECMC ICU were unbelievable!  How they confront and deal with what they see on a daily basis is amazing.  They not only helped my Sister but brought us food and laughed and cried with us.
  • The outpouring of expressions of sympathy, prayer and support was unbelievable. Hundreds of people from several countries prayed and offered support.

When the accident that took her life occurred, Sandra was doing her usual thing:  working at being the best she could be and helping and caring for others.  Even in her death, we have learned that Sandra was still giving, parts of her physical body donated to several persons, saving or improving their lives.

In her 49 years, and right down to the last 10 days of Sandy’s life, she left a great impression on the many people who knew her.  We have all been reminded of the fragility of our life here on earth, yet we must all move on.  Even today, we should take a moment and appreciate the good things in our lives.  We should celebrate the fact that we were blessed with Sandy’s company over the past 49 years.  And after today, when we leave and become re-absorbed in the fervor of everyday life, and maybe you are having a lousy, stressful day, take a moment and remember our beloved Sandy and be strengthened and inspired by the life she lived here on earth:

  • Being the best she could be;
  • Caring for others; and
  • Always, always, that “sneaky” sense of humor and brilliant, gleaming smile.